Inner Faith vs. Society and Religion…It’s All Ok

I have written quite a bit over the last couple of months about the ongoing storyline of OTALIA on the soap opera, Guiding Light.  I even have an ongoing, weekly blog chronicling the happenings on AfterEllen.com.  Friends not associated with the programming ask me why I am doing this.  Well, number one, it’s fun, and who among us doesn’t like a little fun?  Second, I believe soaps provide us a socio-political lesson wrapped up in the everyday trials and tribulations of an imaginary small-town world.  From their inception, the daytime melodrama has been the barometer of social conscience on such issues as war, abortion, AIDS, and recently, sexual orientation and gender identity.  The storyline of daytime diva, Olivia Spencer (Crystal Chappell) and Natalia Rivera (Jessica Leccia) provides a glimpse into the struggles of same-sex couples and the obstacles they face once the love match has been made.

Rumors and “spoilers” tell us Natalia’s religion and her religious teachings will provide a source of contention in this relationship.  In Friday’s episode, Natalia seemed to reconcile her teachings and her inner faith as she said, “God still loves me.”  Our conservative society, however, is uncomfortable with us making those decisions for ourselves.  And there lies the conflict.  How much are we going to let our religious upbringing define our inner faith?  To what degree will we let society define our relationship with God, and therefore, our relationship with our life partners?

I believe we are beginning to move beyond a superficial posture in our lives that used to say, “The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it.” We need to consider the Bible is more complex than that.  It does not begin to tell us everything we need to know about every thing. The Bible is authoritative about our relationship with God but there are some other perspectives that are the science and math of 2500 years ago and need to be reconsidered.

The heart of the Christian Bible is Jesus, his teachings, and his example. Other parts of the Bible that are measured against Jesus come up wanting. We should all be a little leery when someone bases their belief on “The Bible says…” Think about it for a second. The Bible says that it is good to take the children of our enemies and kill them by throwing them against boulders. It is in the Bible but we don’t abide by it because it does not fit with the teachings of Christ. The Bible says that it is an abomination to God to wear clothing made of two different kinds of material. The Bible says it is an abomination to God to eat lobster or crab. The Bible says that adulterers are to be killed. The Bible says that it is an abomination to God to handle the skin of a pig…well, there goes football, considered a second religion in most of the South!

What does the Bible say about sexual identity? The people from 2000 years ago did not know about sexual orientation or sexual identity. They believed everyone was heterosexual. Our biologists and psychologists tell us that is false today, that some percentage of all persons is created with attraction toward others of the same gender, and that is not a choice but a given. The Bible is helpful, however, when we talk about behavior.  We can all choose our behavior and we are responsible for our comportment whether we are talking about how we express our love or how much we eat and how little we exercise.

Homosexuals are often portrayed as promiscuous by those who wish to hurt and slander.  Promiscuity, casual sexual behavior, is wrong according to the Christian book, but it is only one of many other wrong behaviors Jesus addresses.  Perhaps you’ve heard of them? Theft, murder, promiscuity, greed, deceit, envy, gossip, arrogance or pride…anyone feeling left out yet? Jesus condemns promiscuity but he never addresses sexual orientation and does not say that being gay is inherently wrong or evil. He also says that we are not to condemn others without first looking at our own wrongdoing. And He is intensely concerned with hypocrisy, people talking or condemning about one way and then acting in an opposite way, people going through the motions of being religious and not having integrity or sincerity. Jesus is also passionately committed to including and welcoming people who are seen as outsiders and, get ready, “sinners”!

What does the Bible say about morality and sexuality?  We have to ask ourselves are we willing to look at the whole Bible and not just some isolated passages? Are we willing to look at the close friendship and love between two important men in the Bible, David and Jonathan? David, the future king of Israel and the most beloved and flawed king, and Jonathan, son of King Saul, who tried to kill both David and Jonathan. David talks of Jonathan after Jonathan’s death and affirms his love for Jonathan, a love that he says even surpasses the love of a woman. The Bible’s witness is more complicated than some people think.  Though David and Jonathan may be just the first recorded “bromance”, it is thought provoking, and should be considered with the same social importance as other selections from the Bible.

Most medical and biological experts say sexual identity is a given and not a choice. The five to ten per cent of the population who are gay and lesbian did not choose that identity, it is a given, an inherent part of who we are. For those in our religious society who seek to condemn, it is the same for them.  When did they choose or decide to have romantic feelings toward the opposite sex?  Some persons are in the middle of that spectrum and have feelings about both genders but usually there is a stronger inclination one way or another.

There are some very destructive myths that conservative evangelicals continue to propagate, but have been rejected by today’s statistics. Gay persons are not child molesters. Gay persons cannot recruit others to be gay. Gay persons are individuals and there is no such thing as a “homosexual lifestyle” just as there is no “heterosexual lifestyle”. People who are straight or gay can be celibate or in a monogamous covenant relationship or engage in adultery or casual sex whether they are gay or straight. In fact, there are studies to show there might even be more promiscuity among heterosexual persons than anyone else.

Thankfully, we have made some changes over the years but there is still a long way to go in the minds of some religious persons.  Still, others do not want ANY change. There are many Christian denominations who uphold the rights of pastors who deny church membership to gays and lesbians in committed monogamous relationships. They contend it is the pastors who have that right to decide who can belong and who cannot.

This takes me to the attribute I love most about being part of my church. Though I won’t go into the denomination, it is one of the largest mainstream protestant denominations seen all over the country.  I will admit that there are members of our family across the United States that are not as progressive in their views as we are.  We are encouraged to think for ourselves. We are not all required to subscribe to one set of dogma and doctrine. We are emboldened to think and let think…but first of all THINK…take classes, read the Bible, listen to the scientific research, and decide for ourselves. What do you think?

There really are loving, inclusive churches out there.  Inner faith and religious faith should be a compliment to each other not an antagonistic decision of one over the other.  God is love, love doesn’t hurt, and it IS that simple.  While so many out there like to focus on fear and abomination and exclusion through a darkly selective process of religion, I look at religion in a more personal, inviting, and loving way.  Did I get here overnight?  God no.  It’s an ongoing process and I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t have doubts sometimes.  One thing I do know, from inside my soul, is that God does love me…

1 Corinthians 15:10: 
”But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain…”

And just as Natalia said on Friday’s episode of Guiding Light, as she held the hand of Olivia, “I feel like everything is going to be ok.”