Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Carly Caps #1: Carly Returns

October 9, 2009 by  
Filed under Entertainment, TV

Picture 4

Let me take a moment to point out that this recap, or Carly Cap, is a pilot program based solely on reader feedback.  I received several requests to fill the written CC void, and I will continue as long as there is a desire for me to do so.  Just remember, it’s all in fun, right?  I will not be recapping the entire soap.  The Days of hot ratings sustenance is over and I’m not a big fan of cold serial.

Oh, and since I don’t have an editor, the language will be all mine.  The curse words, however, I will borrow from Mimi Torchin from time to time.  Here we go…

A familiar voice is off camera. There is some talk about a monster. Could it be, or is it just wishful thinking? A man says he never knew he married such a total bitch!  It is, it is Olivia Spencer!  Personal dream sequence is over.  That is one crazy-eyed Carly Manning (Crystal Chappell) stabbing, with surgical precision, her husband of 15 years, Lawrence Alamain (Michael Sabatino).  Apparently, she hates his hairstyle, too.

normal_Carly_10-2-09

Running from her international crime of passion, Carly boards a direct flight from the Principality of Monaco to Salem.  Huh?  What?  I guess that’s how Grace Kelly got back to the Midwest, too.  Non-stops from Mediterranean islands is probably how all those homos are getting to the gay marriage Mecca of Iowa.

Flashback 15 years to Cleopatra in shoulder pads, no, that’s Carly, and Lawrence as they long ago left behind the sunset of Salem in the jet-wash of a Gulfstream.  Now she flies commercial; must be the recession. They were so happy back then, and so each needing a complete meal.

flashback

Flash-forward, Carly is wrapped in swaddling clothes and is downing her spirits wholly.  She knows that Bo (Peter Reckell) will help her.  Who?  Oh, yeah, that guy on the Youtube chronology.  Flashback to her stabbing the crazy hair Larry…again.    Carly calls Bo from the airphone, and right on cue, the connection terminated…turbulence.  Must be foreshadowing, or some yahoo in coach turned on their cell phone.

Picture 1

Just to drive it home one more time, flashback to that knife thing…again.  Stab him once, shame on him; stab him twice, shame on her; stab him three times, shame on me for continuing to watch.

normal_carly_10-5-09

Flying down the bumpy path to cliche, every time Carly begins her call, turbulance.  She  inquires of the flight attendant about the phone connection.  You guessed it, IDK.  The oven dings and she runs back down the aisle to check her cookies.

I was told there was another knifing flashback, but I didn’t watch it.  The plane continues to lurch.  Carly is terrified that the plane is going down.  The coordinates indicate the plane to be above Springfield, IL.  THAT explains it; the bumping and grinding is the result of crossing the acceleration path of two bodies of hot air moving vertically at differing speeds…together.

normal_Carly_10-7-09_c

A scary Larry illusion replaces Les Nessman in the seat next to Carly.  He grabs her hand and tells her he is taking her to hell with him…I think she is already there.

Comments

27 Responses to “Carly Caps #1: Carly Returns”
  1. Michele says:

    Laughing my ass off right now.

    And although it wasn’t Less Nessman – damn that other actor looked familar.

    Witty and perfectly wordy as always.

  2. Bethany says:

    LMAO!!!! thank you for the Carly Cap! Please keep it coming!

  3. Jill says:

    Continue…please continue…I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me!

  4. tenwinterz says:

    Dude, thank you. That made me evening! :)

  5. kelltwomyn says:

    Oh, PLEASE continue these! So damn hilarious..love the Les Nessman reference and the infamous “IDK”..wonderful, as always!

  6. Jen says:

    Hilarious!! Please continue. Loved the line about hating his hairstyle. I love Michael, but definately not a fan of the hair. :)

  7. paola says:

    I love your recaps and love my crystal chappelled carly or whoever…but Oiliva and Otalia rule forever bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. azulcorfazon says:

    Yes, I am so not a Days fan, and after watching a week’s worth, well I don’t see me becoming one, but damn it I love Crystal so I will show my support and suffer through. Keep the funny re-caps coming and they will make viewing Days much more tolerable.

  9. chriscody says:

    Oh yeah, do the recaps. Please do the recaps!

  10. Cheryl says:

    Love your snark! Yeah, the knifing flashback was too funny–over and over again! Please continue the Carly recaps–next week should be a doozy according to the spoilers–HA!!

  11. sandy says:

    You had me at IDK! Please keep doing the Carly recaps!

  12. Audra says:

    Yay, they’re back!

  13. Henry says:

    Great. I am so happy you will continue to support Crystal.

  14. Nadine says:

    Thank you for the recap. Keep them coming.

  15. K-Rae says:

    OMG!! Can’t..stop..laughing..over..and..over.. Much like the knifing scene! I need Carly’s drink.. Please more recaps!!

  16. Rita says:

    LOL…the “shame on me” paragraph was hilarious….and true! Having not watched Days before, I’ve come to the conclusion that the writers think that the audience has the memory of a fish (3 seconds), hence why they continually play scenes over and over again. Let’s hope it gets better when Carly FINALLY lands (I mean is she going for an around the world in 80 days?!!) On GL, we would have had 4 weddings and a funeral in the same period of time!!

  17. LA says:

    Totally love your reviews. Completely accurate in the decriptions. Not loving Days and the other characters but will keep watching to support Crystal. Please keep up the reviews it makes the pain of watching all the other stuff on Days throughout the week worth it. Love the Less Nessman part. I agree with Rita that Days must think we have a 3 second memory because they keep repeating everything over and over about all the characters on there show. Sorry I paused for a few seconds, what was I writing about? (LMAO) Love ya!

  18. Maybelle (aka mfof25) says:

    praying, drinking & putting my brain on the shelf were the only ways I could sit thru watching Days for glimpses of Crystal. but now we’ve got your wonderful snarkylicious comments to keep us in stitches. Keep ‘em coming, b/c lord know we’ll need it for the next cple of weeks of what looks like a looong plane ride.

    Gotta say tho, having CC on Days raises the acting bar on that soap. If they brought over more ex-GL’ers imagine the consequences… but then that would be GL part deux. hmmmm

  19. xamanthe says:

    Like everyone else, I’m LMAO! Please continue! Not a fan of Days, but love Crystal. Thanks!

  20. Kate says:

    Yes!

    I loved your GL recaps and Days provides plenty of material for snark. Thank you for doing this.

    God, we all must love CC a lot, huh? we’re watching DAYS!

  21. ship_eternal says:

    LMAO excellent recap. Loved the “oven dings and she runs back down the aisle to check her cookies”…that’s exactly what it sounded like.

  22. Rikita says:

    I’m actually enjoying the non P&G commercials more than the show. So refreshing. Please, keep this up. We desperately need the snark. There certainly isn’t a lot of depth to the show to keep our minds busy. Yep, we’re all in soap hell but together and with CC acting the hell out of it, we’ll survive.

  23. Otaliarulz says:

    Just found this and am thrilled that you’re considering recapping Carly on Days. Loved your mini-caps of Otalia and really hope you’ll continue…we need to support Crystal…she is fantastic and the only reason I’m even watching another soap.

  24. PhillyRodz says:

    Please keep them coming!

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