Rent-a-Friend? Really?

I was just beginning to shake off my less than three cups of caffeine morning fog when I heard on the Today show a segment referencing renting a friend.  Surely, I must be in some blood sugar stupor of post-Independence barbecue bliss.  Really?  There is a website where you can rent a friend for the day?  Yep, of course there is, www.rentafriend.com.

According to the website, over 218,000 friends are advertised for rental throughout the United States.  A quick in-put of my zip code, and there they are…thirteen pages of platonic rapport.  At first I think, what kind of an anti-social person needs to rent a friend, and then it hits me.  Gift cards!  For all those friends of mine who continually try to convince me to go camping (more now after I Tweeted how much I detest it), here for hire is Elise.  She loves infrequent showers and sleeping on the ground.  For a small tariff, Jen can two-step the night away with those who always want me to attend that Friday night country western fiasco.  Jen’s profile indicates she has no aversion to pseudo-leather shit kickers and the politics stuck to the bottom.  Thanks to rent-a-friend, I will never have to attend another bad movie, lame concert, self-help workshop, or sci-fi convention.  Brilliant.  And don’t think this doesn’t work both ways.  I see Starr is day to day for sucking up and telling me I am great…thus releasing my girl, and my friends, from enduring those pre-production blog readings!

At first I scoff, but the unfortunate reality of our time is that there is a market for this.  Sustainability is a reference used more often to our environment than our relationships.   Rentafriend.com capitalizes on the concept that a day to day sublet releases us from the responsibility of long term commitment and the upkeep involved in ownership.  Don’t be surprised that I just purchased the domain rights to Lease-a-Lesbian.  If you want a blogger with scruples, Lia is available for a small fee.