“We Have To Stop Now” Hits Close to Home

I just finished viewing both seasons of We Have To Stop Now starring Jill Bennett and Cathy DeBuono.  And how did it make me feel?  *trying to decide which Freudian defense mechanism to use*

A little while ago, a very good friend, a friend who’s more like family, suggested that I watch We Have To Stop Now, and then she laughed every time she said I would find it familiar.  I simply assumed that she was referring to Jill and Cathy.  I am of course familiar with their body of work…no pun intended.  As I watched episode after episode, I became cognizant of a certain eery, yet humorous, similarity.

In Season One, the web series is based around two married, left-coast-lesbian therapists, Dyna (DeBuono) and Kit (Bennett), who have meandered deeply into the matrimonial abyss only to discover their joint venture publication, How to Succeed in Marriage Without Even Trying, is now on the New York Time’s Best Sellers List.  Desperate as to give the public impression of a successful couple and to maintain some semblance of professional integrity, the two battle-scarred wayfarers of wedded bliss forgo divorce and war it out in couple’s therapy of their own.  The banter with relationship ravaged therapist, Susan (Suzanne Westenhoefer), is back and forth brilliance, and Jill Bennett’s resulting facial expressions alone are worth the price of the DVD.

I personally identify with Dyna.  She is straight-laced (in the strictest of fashion sense) and tailored, intelligent, pet-peeved-intolerant (bordering on compulsive) over the incorrect use of language and grammar, and is no stranger to the Zottman curl.   Kit is a bit quirky, has a large-pore emotional filter, wears the same color shirt quite often, makes “in your best interest” suggestions to Dyna QUITE OFTEN, and has a hugely encompassing heart.  I can identify there as well…I have lived with that same person for years.

Dyna and Kit’s relationship is built upon a strong foundation of mutual respect and great affection for each other…and if either one would just listen to the other for more than the time it takes to semi-automatically reload and pull the emotional trigger, it would be obvious.  Thus my light bulb realization that my friend is correct in her assumption that I would find a familiarity here.  Humorous, yet recognizable, the volleyed snarkiness of response, the selective, in-turn deafness, and the one act, pre-planned power plays are not a symptom of lesbian bed death.  Lord knows there is no problem there.  It’s a symptom of post-seven year itch.  Now that we are done scratching through the rash early years, where do we put our nails…besides into each other.   Ok, maybe I’ve had too much therapy.

The series is written and created by Ann Noble who plays Kit’s stoner sister, Cindy.  I find that Cindy is the unexpected, tough talking, moral character of the show.  Brain cells are not the only thing she is shrinking.  Somehow through the semi-translucent ganja haze, she manages to speak a layman’s psychobabble of therapeutic truth that is often times lost on Dyna and Kit in their 50-minute game of pong with Susan.  Cindy is a dichotomy.  She has a hardened and tough, cut through the bullshit facade with a soft, vulnerable, personal truth-seeking underbelly (often seen because she doesn’t like to wear pants) that makes me wonder from where in the recesses of Ann’s mind, this all comes.  Hmmm, perhaps I will find out some day.

Season Two takes a less comedic turn and cruises into the dramedy waters by expanding the cast and the emotional turmoil.  Family dynamics are extended and difficult questions are beginning to surface like, “Did she?”, “How could she?”, and “Is she?”  As a viewer, I have to be honest and say I prefer the relative comfort that the Season One comedy provides.  However, I realize this is a natural progression into third dimension character development and is a necessary balancing from the happy to the heavyhearted.   As my investment in these characters moves from the familiar to the unfamiliar, so moves my comfort level.  The cliffhanger of Season Two left me with a sense of, “Can we just go back to the fun and the gay?”

So, as I laugh at the humor in my friend’s reference to Season One and packing the Wonder Woman cuffs before she visits me, I am reminded of the serious nature of relationships and marriage.  Same sex, opposite sex, who cares, the emotions and drama of doing the hard work are the same.  This series makes an often times humorous, but poignant point, to show that you can’t succeed in marriage without trying…it is a well-acted, comedic farce to believe that it is possible.

Oh, and I forgot about the hot sex scene between Kit and Dyna.  When Kit goes dow…  I’m sorry, we have to stop now.

Go watch.