Many have asked lately, “‘Schmootz, where are you?” Well, in the small web entanglements of social media, I am never far, but I did take a well-deserved, extended vacation where the most difficult decisions I made every day were rum or vodka in my boat-drink and the ever important SPF number…50, 30, or 15? Vacations are wonderful and restful, but as a result, I am buried in work and neglected responsibilities…one of them, my blog. So, as an attempt to catch up, here are a few things on my Mind. Thank you, Jane Espenson, and the encouragement of your one-hour writing sprints.
#FUPD – First, I would like to thank all you for your continued kind thoughts, prayers, and well wishes for my beautiful, better three-quarters. A few months ago, I revealed, with Randi’s permission, her diagnosis of early onset Parkinson’s Disease. After a pretty shaky start (both literal and figurative), it seems that the correct combination of titrated medication and exercise have been determined, and thankfully there are now many more kick-ass days than ass-kicked days. Before the new medications were initiated, however, the doctor asked that Randi come in for a chat about the side effects of taking these particular dopamine agonists, and she was instructed to bring me. I learned that when taking this medication, there is a tendency, I was cautioned, for a possible increase in mainly three compulsive behaviors: losing money; experimentation with drugs/alcohol; and an increased libido at inappropriate times. I also learned that if those behaviors are not an inherent part of the personality already, then they probably won’t manifest themselves.
I looked over at Randi and smiled that smile she has correctly interpreted for over ten years. As far as compulsions go, I know she would never over spending or lose fortunes of money…Randi herself exclaims, “Are you kidding, I’m Jewish!” Recreational drugs? Not likely if it hasn’t happened up to this point; her Vicodin bottle is filled in playground proportions already. And the other? Well, let me selfishly say, “Woo Hooo!” There IS better living through chemistry…
All kidding aside, we are still in the process of putting together the interlocking pieces of the #FUPD support group for those diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s Disease. Also, our friend Ashley is running the Denver Rock ‘n Roll Marathon in support of Randi and the great work of the Parkinson’s Disease Foundation. If you would like to support Ash in her quest to raise awareness and research funds, take a minute and go here.
Televised Lesbian-ish Entertainment – *crickets* – I know, I know, the landscape is not that desolate. Insert the sound of slowing beeping life support equipment instead of the solitary resonance of nocturnal insects. I’m kind of over writing about this stuff, really. What more can I say about BBC3’s Lip Service other than I haven’t been this happy to see a main character killed off since Dorothy Gale dropped a house on another twisted sista of the east. Recently, True Love, a five part miniseries from the BBC, offered a Loving Annabelle-ish, hot for teacher arc. The improvised dialogue between the two actresses is intimate and sweet, but I wish someone would have improvised a screaming siren or two to provide the final walking out of high school, hand-in-hand scene, with a little reality.
From what my better 75% tells me, there is a German soap, Verbotene Liebe, and a past its sale date Kiwi soap, Shortland Street with lesbian characters, but I can’t add anything to their worth; I have temporarily washed my hands of soap. From what I hear, Molly Ringwald is now pretty in purple on that family Mouse network being boycotted by a million moms…and General Mills. Oh yeah, there is Canada’s Lost Girl…where honestly, I wouldn’t mind being thrown under the succubus, but that’s pretty much it for me. For now, I’ll stick to True Blood (Yeah, I know, pretty gay.), Breaking Bad, Dexter, and Sons of Anarchy. Oh, and Walking Dead…I seem to recall two female zombies exchanging fluids…or was that fanfic?
The US Women’s National Team Uniforms – Or as I like to not so lovingly refer, Waldo-wear.
Oh, Nike, what the hell were you thinking? Even Tim Gunn couldn’t make this work. These are some of the most fit women in the world, and even they can’t wear horizontal stripes. Only a straw looks good in stripes. Perhaps Nike was a little confused that they were supposed to be designing for Beckham…
Anderson Cooper is gay – I will say congratulations to Mr. Cooper on his announcement. Just a few hours before the anchor’s breaking news, Timmy, my IT guy, came out to everyone in the office. Even though we didn’t need Lassie so much to sound the alarm on this one as well, it was still a huge deal to Timmy, and to us. His courage is certainly to be applauded if only by his small circle of friends. As a result of this announcement, Lassie rescued four more gays from a well brand.
American Healthcare Reform – Well, I’m not moving to Toronto. Not to say that I wouldn’t love to reside in the city. After all, Warehouse13 wants me to believe Toronto looks like Atlanta, Washington, DC, and yes, even Denver. It would be like going home! Alas, SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States) upheld the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), so my family and I don’t have to leave the country for non-restrictive healthcare. To say I was shocked is an understatement. If somehow President Obama discovered the Fountain of Youth, the Republicans would accuse him of trying to destroy the adult diaper industry. So good news, America, those of you suffering from terminal ass-hat can breathe a little easier; you will not be kicked off or denied insurance due to pre-existing condition. Oh, and for those out there that have no problem keeping up with the Kardashians, but can’t remember why we celebrate the Fourth of July, your taxes will not go up as long as you keep your personal insurance. Don’t go off half cocked in your three pointed hat and “Justice Roberts is a Coward” t-shirt and dump your venti chai latte in the harbor. Get the facts.
Ok, I’ll have more later. Have a good holiday, America. Declare your independence from intellectual laziness. Clear the schmootz from your mind and think about what got us here 236 years ago.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” – Thomas Jefferson, Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776
“Every single American — gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgender — every single American deserves to be treated equally in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of our society. It’s a pretty simple proposition.” – President Barack Obama, Oct. 1, 2011