Venice in its first season has many things going for it.  One in particular is that it was done at all.  Presently, dramas dependent on uncensored content, devoid of corporate strangleholds, have little other place of premier besides the internet.  Open Book Productions harnessed the anticipatory power of an organized and largely unfulfilled fanbase and moved forward with their aspirations.  Living the ultimate realization of a dream is something to celebrate.

Jessica Leccia brings to the character of Ani a guileless vulnerability that encourages the viewer to root for her.  Roll after roll, over and over again, she puts herself out there until in the finale she inescapably decides to get off that emotional Magic Mountain that is Gina Brogno (Crystal Chappell) to find happiness in a lover without the nauseating twists and turns.  Who knows what will happen next season.   Will Ani grab a fast pass for Lara, or will she stand in that long, switch-back, line for Gina?  Personally, I hope Ani’s happiest place on earth will be with Lara.

Though Lara (Nadia Bjorlin) is a bit of a blank slate at this point, I really don’t care; she isn’t Gina.  For some reason, the character is likable and holds my interest.  Perhaps I am merely cheering for Ani and this is transference on my part.  Whatever the motivation, there is an anticipation that I don’t have for many of the other characters.  Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention that Nadia Bjorlin came to this character cold as it was originally cast with Elizabeth Keener.  It has been well publicized that upon arrival on the set to play her original role, Nadia stepped into the Lara part and has performed admirably.

Hillary B. Smith, episode two not withstanding, brings chemistry, maternal compassion, and humor to the series.  Her passionate plea to the Colonel (Jordan Clarke) for parental understanding is one of my favorite scenes.  Though the Colonel can be classified as stereotypical, such characteristics have their roots in reality, and though Gina waited until later in life to finally confront her homophobic father, she did it.  Many of us either lost that chance because of life’s fated circumstances, or perhaps we are not quite as well adjusted as our critics, therefore, seeing the manifestation on screen is satisfying.  On a selfish note, I have to say that while Crystal and Hillary stared longingly into each other’s eyes after a Goose downed evening in episode 9, I was pleading in my head, “Please make Guya the ADOPTED sister of Gina’s mother!” To this point, no scripted pairing has produced such a reaction.

Out of a much heralded cast, the standout surprise for me has to be Michelle N. Carter.  There is something about Michelle’s character that makes me want to point and say, “Yeah, what she said,” every time she completes a sentence.  She is not only Gina’s assistant, but her super ego with an attitude…not that there is any part of Gina’s moral compass that would respond to anyone less magnetic.

Technically, the series manipulates the beauty of the California beach through the use of high definition cameras to create a setting both visually pleasing and unique to many webseries.  Couple the fabulous photography with the decision to utilize indie music artists as added definition, and Venice creates a secondary storyline that is complimentary to the first.

Though I believe Venice has the potential as a continuing drama on the web, I believe as a viewer, some parts of this freshman season series need adjustment.  My biggest disappointment is there are too many characters to establish a full depth of development in the amount of time the production team arced for one season.  The “morning after scene” with Gina and Ani through the “body in the garage discovery” could have easily encompassed 24 to 36 complex episodes.  I would have preferred the episode 7 good-bye scene to have been the season one cliff hanger with much more character development in between.  I have said it before, please, show me, don’t tell me.  Of course, I can fill in the blanks myself, but as a viewer, I shouldn’t have to.

Not lost on me is that Gina, a character with the most number of scenes, is the least dimensional of the characters.   I watch each episode with the hope that this will be the week I like her.  Do something to expose her vulnerability.  Hell, show her buying a few beach orphans a shave ice, something, something that will tell me she is more than mean, crass, manipulative, and drunk.  As I said in my review of episode 7, Gina shows glimpses of humanity when she allows her personal walls a certain opaqueness.  Show me more.  Give me the slightest impression as to why Gina can’t commit.  A tent pole character doesn’t have to be without its nicks and its knots, it just has to be strong enough to support the apex of the canvas.

Crystal Chappell is one of the most talented actresses in any genre at delivering an emotionally charged scene.  Give her (and me) the bridge to get there.  Unfortunately, the writing for Gina’s final scene with Ani is an abrupt bridge to nowhere.  As with other important arcing sequences of this season, there are significant gaps in composition.  Gina schizophrenically overreacts to Ani’s rejection of their dysfunctional relationship.  I would have given more credence to this emotional outburst had I been privy to insight as to whether episode 7 had actually been the last time these two were alone together.

Had they been given more of a reactive catalyst, the chemistry between Gina and Tracy (Lesli Kay) could have been perceived as more inciting than a child’s science project.  In episode 11, when Gina and Tracy throw each other against the wall, the audience is quickly cut to the product and left to assume the initial substance.  In the finale, Tracy emotionally pronounces she is falling in love with Gina.  How and when did this happen?  Without revealing the fundamentals of the motivation, what’s left is an unbalanced equation.  There is something to be said for giving Gina and Tracy the same relationship litmus test that Ani and Lara are given.

Season one ends with Gina answering a call for reinforcements from the Colonel and finding what appears to be a lifeless, handcuffed woman in his garage.  I have to admit, my first reaction was please let this be Tracy…or at least the personification of her bad British accent.   Cut to black, listen to the music, and wait for season two.

And about next season, I say please, no stunts and no Chaiken things up.  Develop the three dimensions of the twosomes before you work on the threesomes.  Take your time, ladies.  Contrary to fanatical belief, good is worth waiting for…with all elements of this potentially very successful show.

I just watched Venice, Episode 7 for the fourth time.  That’s at least two more times than I watched the others, and I have to say, well done, ladies.  On the heels of a much improved Episode 6, I am hoping this is a trend of lessons learned, the wheels back on the train, and full speed ahead.

Episode 7 is well shot, well edited, and well acted.  There is so much chemistry in the air, it’s as if Crystal Chappell, Jessica Leccia, and Michelle N. Carter sat down to a buffet at the periodic table.  Although the beginning scene should have probably been the end of last week’s episode, there are no bells and whistles, no standard dialogue, and no oddly squeezed in exposition to distract my attention.  It flows; it is believable; it leaves me interested and more importantly, wanting more.

Prior episodes have been a demonstration in what appears to have been a learning experience.  I posted my thoughts on Episode 1 and 2, and the more I think about it, Episode 2 was more like something from an entirely different series.  When placed side by side against the rest of the programming, you don’t have to be a Sesame Street alum to know one of these things is not like the others.

Episode 3 left me confused as to what Michael Sabatino’s character portrays.  Is he a metro-sexual male with a shoe fetish, or is he a married-to-a-woman gay man who collects Mama Mia memorabilia?  I’m still not quite sure, but Michael was good enough to make me wonder.  Where I am more “huh?” than curious is what did I miss between Gina (Chappell) and Tracy’s (Lesli Kay) curious playfulness at an afternoon business meeting and their VERY familiar display in public that evening.  Soaps are as much about the dance as they are about the pay off, and I would have liked to have seen Gina, fueled by liquid courage, tango with Tracy.

I do get the limitations of a web budget, but skipping the Gina/Tracy date and going right into Episode 4 left a gap in the timing that makes me say, “Show me, don’t tell me.”  Build this thing block by block, create a good foundation, and then build the walls for me to scale.  Make me wonder; make me want more.  Perhaps then, the chemistry between Gina and Tracy would have had more time to react.  My praise goes to Hillary B. Smith and Jordan Clarke.  Although had I not known from the website the connections these characters have to each other, I might have been somewhat confused.  I loved the character confrontation between these two talented, veteran, daytime actors.  Guya (Smith) is the maternal champion of this family.  This is the cosmic energy I wanted to see out of the essence of Guya, not that quack-job from Episode 2.

By Episode 5 we finally get the date scene, but the chemistry between Lesli and Crystal is just not there.  I say this not because I can’t see “Olivia” with anyone else but “Natalia”, because quite frankly I was ready to move on from those two by the time Guiding Light ended.  I say this because, for me, there is no spark, no fire, and no smoke.  I found Crystal relaxed and attentive, but Lesli as a seductress is posed, and comes off more like late-night cable.  I understand the desired effect, but the somewhat-Madonna-ish British accent is distracting and should be dropped.

In Episode 6, Gina Tognoni is introduced as Owen’s (Galen Gering) blind date.  The scene is shot up-close in the hatchback of a car and leaves little to distract from the dialogue.  Maybe it’s just picky me, but I listen, and you lost me at “small village outside of Zambia”…Zambia is a country, so the geographic possibilities are endless.  Galen’s version of the Owen character as gentle giant, little brother buffoon, and screw-up reminds me of all those stoners I once knew.  He makes me lean forward in a feeble attempt to hurry his words.  I have to believe my perception of bad acting has transcended to be merely an aspect of his character.  Episode 6 is beginning to find its way as Crystal Chappell does what she does best, fight scenes.  She scores a long overdue TKO as Gina initiates an act of paternal defiance and declares verbal war on her intolerant, homophobic, and hurtful soldier father (Clarke).  I heard my audible, “Yes,” as she and Owen slam out of the Colonel’s house.  This is what I have been waiting for.

Back full circle to Episode 7, I hope the series continues to get better from here.  If such is the case, I would be willing to forget the myriad of technical problems, the platitude of script, the editing problems, the over/under exposition, telling me and not showing me, and yes, Episode 2.  Could it be that Jessica Leccia is what we have been lacking so far?  I adore the normal, “antithesis-Natalia” that is sweet, quirky, a gentle smart ass, and yes, talented.  After seeing Episode 7 several times, my advice for season two would be to cut the cast and shoot episodically around these three core characters, Gina, Ani, and Michele.  The waters of Venice Beach will continue to drift characters in and out of the loves and lives of these diverse, engaging, women.  When it comes to the future of this webseries, I say take these three actresses, and ride the high tide.

Well, it’s time for the February sweeps story arcs to begin, and Tweetland is all a twitter with pimps and polls for the middle-aged Mayan marriage re-tread.  I, like many, was craving a heaping helping of independent Carly storyline, but instead, it seems like we will be fed a plate full of Barly this season.  Just what all daytime fans need, more roughage.  But never fear, loyal and regular readers.  I will take this sacrificial Dickensonian twist and hold out my bowl for more so you don’t have to. This is my gift.

Bo comforts a nervous Carly with news that whoever was poking around the Swiss baby bank didn’t make a withdrawal of her personal records.  Of course, there was some kind of alpine flood and Carly’s records have not been restored.  Floods in Switzerland!  What more evidence do those “deniers” need of global warming?

After speaking to Carly, Bo runs into Vivian who tries to warn him of his continued dalliance with that hippocratic succubus.  Oh, Vivian.  You had me at guttersnipe, now succubus?  Either Louise Sorrel carries around her own copy of Dialogue for Daytime Dummies, or she is sub-contracting locution experts from Days gone by.  Vivian explains to Bo that by ignoring his family for that strumpet, he is chasing his wife into the arms of another man.  She saw Hope ringing in the new year by clanging Justin’s clapper.

Later at the hospital, Dr. Manning gets on the elevator without noticing Cruella de Vivian in the back snacking on a bag of puppy chips.  I would say let the games begin, but Carly has been transformed into a sniveling hot mess of claustrophobic weakness.  Like a cat with a ball of yarn, or a CBS soap executive with a lesbian, Vivian begins to tease and cajole Carly.  Vivian threatens revenge for Lawrence’s murder and promises to see Carly in hell.  What, Salem’s not it?

Vivian exits the elevator leaving Carly to a dysfunctional lift and flashbacks of being buried alive.  Gasping, yelling, and shouting, Carly’s face turns blue…no, wait, that was my elevator ride in Vegas.  Carly freaks out while the maintenance man pries open the door just as Bo rides up on his trusty nag.  Does anyone need Fabio on the cover to see where this is leading?  Carly, apparently having lost her backbone, collapses into Bo’s arms.  He takes her to her hotel room where after almost 20 years, Bo still remembers how to play doctor.

The after-glow (What no, tank tops?) is interrupted by a call from Hopelessness, where her matrimonial American Idol is “looking like a fool with his pants on the ground”.  Hope says her Uncle Mickey died, and she needs Goofy.  Bo puts on his pants and meets his wife.  The little woman begins to talk about coming home when someone interrupts and asks Bo if he got Dr. Manning home ok.  Hope immediately recognizes the eau de Carly, that she initially thought was a sickeningly sweet new cologne, and kicks the old cop to the curb.

Hope runs home to the Horton’s and finds Carly there putting out her condolences.  Hope calls Carly a whore.  No, that was Olivia, but Crystal did say she was bringing a little of the character with her.  Maybe THAT’S what she meant.  Hope tells the family to take their grief to the kitchen.  Hope and Carly began to fight their way to the moral high-ground, but neither could muster the attitude of that altitude.  Bo arrives just in time for me to omit the scenes of overacting Hopelessness.

Vivian believes she has figured out the identity of Carly’s daughter.  She’s got an app for that.  She says it has to be Mia, the cheer-less leader, the single runt of Carly’s only (as far as we know) litter.  Much to my recap relief, Carly admits she’s no Mia Mama, and confesses that Melanie is her daughter.  Of course, Melanie doesn’t realize take your mother to work day includes a murdering, home-wrecking, shrew, but Carly is out to change all that by needling, hovering, and smothering…bet she’ll start making cookies SOON!

I discovered three things from watching the second episode of Venice, the series.  One, Michelle Carter can portray a believable character.  Two, by using the F-bomb, there is a definite, realistic, made-for-cable set up.  And three, Hillary B. Smith’s boobs were not the only thing dramatically over the top in the final scene…not that I am complaining (about the boobs).

The opening scene provides a nice and immediate set up of Michelle Carter’s character as Gina’s assistant.  The relationship between Gina and Michele is professional, yet personal and relaxed.  The scene sets the dynamic quickly providing adequate exposition that Michele is an organized asset to Gina’s work schedule and possibly her personal life.  Carter creates a realistic portrayal of the often unseen wizard working the machine from behind the curtain, someone so many of us couldn’t function without.  I anticipate seeing more from Carter, so mission accomplished.

Gina’s choice of “fuck-tard” in reference to a client builds on the character’s previously established lack of sensitivity.  Gina is emotionally bankrupt, and her mouth is writing checks her conscience can’t cover.  Technically, allowing Chappell’s swearing is establishing the series as a representational cable alternative with daytime actors.  I applaud the production team for rejecting the socially sanitary “jerk” and the like.  I can almost forgive the morning after tank tops…almost…as the beyond PG-13 language is realistic in my world.  I have been known to drop the occasional F-bomb myself.  Ok, I admit it, at times I tend to carpet bomb as an offensive.

Constructively, I have to say the last scene with Hillary B. Smith and Tina Sloan just didn’t work for me.   Unless they are setting up Smith’s Guya character as a grifter (and I sincerely hope so), the desire to be overly quirky both in writing and editing plays as if Guya doesn’t yet exist in Gina’s world.  If Guya is not being played as a confidence woman that preys on the loneliness of wealthy widows, then her overt spirituality is being portrayed more of a carnival sideshow than with the metaphysical homage it deserves.  If Guya is going to be the “tent pole” character for the Brogno kids, it’s difficult to take her seriously unless I know she is “playing” for a mark. Considering the talent of these two veterans of stage and the daytime screen, there has to be a reason for the heavy hand and the broad strokes.  Could the final reveal of the tarot card be the foreshadowing of Tina’s character in season two as hinted on Twitter?  I don’t know.  And could there be a statement in the very last card, the fool?  Perhaps. Frequent readers of my work know I am a huge fan of the use of lightheartedness and comedy, but I wish this wasn’t the first time Aunt Guya was introduced.

I want to be emotionally vested in these characters.  I want to glimpse their personalities in reference to the whole and how they relate to the lead character.  Right now it seems I am watching independent vignettes without the benefit of progressive personal harmony.  I agree exposition is necessary, but exposition as it is relative to character association, not just exposition for exposition’s sake.  Just as it was accomplished with Gina’s assistant, Michele, it is important to subtly lead new viewers, not privy to the genesis of this series, to the acknowledgment that Owen is Gina’s brother and that overly eccentric character is Guya, Gina’s maternal aunt.  Their relationships, their interactions, and their combined behavior ramifications keep a viewer wanting more and willing to invest not only time, but money.

As a viewer and potential subscriber, I have honestly and constructively reviewed my Venice experience so far.  It is no state secret that I want this endeavor to succeed; it’s potential in a new genre is overwhelming.  The series is a work in progress, and as with all babies in infancy, can benefit from those not quite so close to the mother.  I made a promise to be impartial and tell it like I see it.   It’s my personal experience that large, rose-colored glasses have been of little benefit to anyone but Elton John. I look forward to seeing the vision hindsight brings.

I have watched the premiere episode of Open Book Production’s Venice several times, and I believe I am prepared to take an honest and constructive look at the new webseries.  I approach this endeavor with the same critical eye I apply to all entertainment, and for that matter politics, as I believe they are one in the same.  I don’t think Kim, Hope, or Crystal would expect anything less from me.

My favorite part of the five minute episode came in the first thirty seconds.  It is the part where the CBS/P&G executive yells, “Cut!”, and Crystal Chappell says, “Fuck you AND your standards and practices.”  OK, that scene is in my head, but I see it every time I click “play”.

I believe the script inaugurated the two characters of Gina and Ani very well.   It established their relationship obstacle right away, giving an insight to their history and the possible flaming circus hoops to jump through in the future.  Complicated is an understatement.  Gina is aggressive, broken, and flawed, and for that Kim Turrisi, I say good on you.   Meat to chew is so much better than milquetoast to swallow.  Speaking from someone who now sarcastically and unfairly equates the phase “I don’t know” with Jessica, it is refreshing to see her play opposite Crystal with desperation and frustration but not with a pabulum resolve.

The first screen shot was generally well constructed.  I have to admit, though, the slow pan across the discarded clothes trail revealing a morning-after scene with two perceived as passionate lovers that are HALF-DRESSED leaves me perplexed.  I don’t say this as a titillated fan with an overwhelming desire to see the girlie bits.  Hell, anyone with access to an internet connection or a Netflix account has seen Jessica naked.  This is merely a pet peeve of mine in a PG-13 world.  A well placed sheet around “the girls” would have been more realistic.

I would have preferred the Galen character’s familial relevance to have been established with more definition.  Unless you are a reader of the soap press or a Twitter hound bird-dogging the series and it’s production team, it’s not necessarily obvious that Owen and Gina are related.  Nevertheless, they have a resemblance, and he teased her as a good brother should.  I loved the sarcastic little brother “re-tread” line as visually I can see the shiny new facade of the old worn pneumatic unravel and peel away with time.  I look forward to more glimpses of why Gina keeps pushing Ani away when clearly in the “body clutch” before the shower scene she loathes herself for not being able to step up.  Gina is troubled, emotionally cold, and possibly, a bit mean.  Everything I love in a dramatic lead character, but thankfully not in a partner.

How will the other romantic characters play into this broke-back relationship?  How does Gina’s family tree shade her truth and her confidence?  I have about a week to decide if $9.99 and a Paypal account is the price to pay for my curiosity.  No matter the school of thought on this subscription-based internet programming, and there are plenty of opinions out there, I am interested to see where this business model will lead for a “soap” series.  Open Book Productions is in a very unique position that many web producers can only hope to be. Crystal Chappell has a pool of friends to pull from that are experienced TV and theater actors that will work for free (for now). Crystal also has a maniacal following willing to finance the initial phase of this dream with Venice swag and in-kind drop off programs.  Is the webseries the future of the failing daytime serial model?  Are Crystal Chappell and company riding that proverbial elephant I gave them right down the middle of the world wide web, a socially-marketed entertainment juggernaut?  Will this niche audience be sustainable? Time will only tell.

Now, can anyone loan me $10?

Twas the morn before Venice, when all through my mind,

This better be good, Turrisi, worth 9.99.

I’ve cued up the website with anticipatory care

In hopes that the server survives all the wear.

Canceling Otalia produced such a clatter,

That Crystal Chappell took rein of the matter.

A webseries for fangirls the remedy be,

Oh, and friends of the diva will work here for free.

Jessica Leccia (Natalia) was mustered,

Rewarding our patience for Olivia to uh, fork her.

The first 30 seconds is a promise of Hope,

A Royaltey similar to Slippery Slope.

The cast was assembled from daytime soap drama,

Employment lines scoured for Gina’s new papa.

A brother, a lover, an aunt and, an ex,

Venice the series, for straight and same-sex.

Now, Jordan, now Michael, now Gina and Lesli,

On Galen, on Nadia, on CC and Hillary.

From the sand of the beach to a kiss on the wall,

Act away, act away, act away all!

First they must figure a way to get paid,

Any good option short of Chappell getting laid.

We’ll open a store, sell t-shirts and panties,

Take pictures of Crystal will up all the ante.

A week of production, first season is done,

Tonight’s the premier of a multi week run.

Everything’s finished and what more can they do,

For Open Book Productions, a dream does come true.

I’ll watch with the eye of an impartial critic,

Everyone knows the ‘Schmootz is a cynic.

I’ll make up my mind on performance and write,

Happy Venice to all, as we log on tonight.

This week’s cap is dedicated to the memory of Cathie Wagner.  Seems fitting that it should be the best episode week yet.

Carly is missing from the house.  Bo finds the diva Dr. Phil pier counseling a young blond.  Bo reminds Carly of the dangers of the vengeful Alamains.  They make haste from Hannah Montana but not before Carly hugs the ingenue and gives her a bit of advice…something about the best of both worlds.

Auntie Vendetta is traipsing about the woodlands biting the heads off bunnies and chewing scenery.  Gus texts her a picture of Carly embracing the teen.  “Who the hell is that?”  No Disney channel in Alamainland.  Vivian orders her lackey to follow the young lady instead of the tramp.  One hundred and one minutes later, Cruella DeVivian is at the Java Cafe offering her assistance to the fledgling blond pup.  The young stray is leery of the fir-coated stranger and runs away.

Carly is pacing around the room offering to knit Bo a scarf.  She’s good at stitches.  Carly is lamenting killing Lawrence (thank god no flashback); he was someone she once loved very much.  Bo knows choice…and she had to just do it.  Carly says she can’t go back; she can’t leave Salem now.  Considering the information given SOD and SOW this week, she can’t extradite for Days.  Bo gets a call from Justin that someone has confessed to the murder of Lawrence Alamain.  Carly is free.  This doesn’t make sense, it’s lunacy.  Speaking of madness, Vivian, my favorite Eyre apparent, admits to Gus she staged the falsified concession, thereby exonerating Carly and trifling with her head.

(Overly dramatic pity party of Hopelessness intentionally skipped.)

There is a knock on the door and Carly opens it to find jehovah’s bitchness.  Vivian is on a peace mission carrying a lily.  Carly knows hemlock when she sees it.  Vivian says they shouldn’t let a little family dirt come between them.  They should stick together in a time like this. Vivian grabs Carly’s hand, a move if on CBS would be sexual.  Prying Viv’s talons from her wrist, Carly asks if they are tipped in poison.  Vivian is happy Carly has not lost her sense of humor.  Huh?  What?  Is she watching the same old Youtube clips I am?

Vivian walks into the room and comments on the shabby-chic design style…heavy on the shabby, light on the chic.  I think I may be falling in love!  Olivia says getting really, really old, hasn’t mellowed Vivian in the least.  Yes, I said Olivia.   We have all seen glimpses of the character delivery ebb and flow in the past seven weeks, but in this scene with Louise Sorel, we have a torrent of Carlivia!  Finally!  I don’t know whether to thank the goddess or lay sacrifice at the alter of Agnes Nixon.

I cannot serve this part of the recap the justice it deserves by doing anything other than showing the clip.  It would be sacrilege.

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Note to self:  Self, beg Mimi Torchin’s help and get Louise Sorel for a “Schmootz on” interview.  Crystal, I applaud your restraint.  The fact you didn’t break character until the very end is Emmy deserving in itself.

Vivian meets up with Gus at Java.  After three fingers of perk and a double shot of cafe noir, she tells him getting revenge on Carly will be harder than she thought.  She has Bo wrapped around her little finger for now, but I’m pretty sure other body parts are to come.

Source: NBC's Days of Our Lives

This week in Carlyworld, we have been taken for the same no-thrill ride.  Carly was booked into jail, but not long enough to lament the first verse of Nobody Knows.  When did the FBI begin FastPass for international extradition?  I miss Guiding Light, at least when there was a passively progressive story, there was the pleasure of Peapack.  I’m beginning to think there is a better chance of Carrie Prejean suffering martyrdom in silence than this feature finding fruition.

The recap:

Auntie Vendetta receives her daily Dr. Manning update from Gus.  Ma damn, that is an atrocious accent.  He informs her that Carly has been arrested.  V walks over to the urn and reminds Lawrence that she warned him Carly would love him tinder.   Pack her bag; she is going to Salem.  Gus, get out of my light, I’m ready for my close-up…with Carly.

Source: NBC's Days of Our Lives

Bo checks on the incarcerated old flame.  Anyone ever notice there is never anyone else in the cells?  Where are the hookers and the Goose hounds?  Well, OK, where are the hookers?  Hope and Justin arrive at the station.  Bo asks which one of them turned in Carly.  They both plead not guilty.  Hope goes all Police Woman on Bo when he doesn’t believe her.  She suddenly realizes his animosity is not about Bo and Carly, it’s about Bo and Hope.  See, I love the old soap days…there is no Barly, Bope or Ho.

Source: NBC's Days of Our Lives

Bo wants to know who did this to Carly.  Smelling chum in the water, Victor arrives to an ominous and repetitive soundtrack.  Brady, you’re gonna need a bigger boat.  He admits he turned Carly into the police.  He manipulated Hope into revealing the truth.  Victor doesn’t want Carly to plunge a knife into his son’s belly, so he plunges one into his son’s back instead.  The sooner Carly is out of Bo’s life, the better.

Justin finesses the federal extradition and buys Carly time.  She will be released into Bo’s custody for now.  Carly of course refuses, but Bo reminds her she risked her life coming to Salem for a very important reason.  Is she going to give that up?  And I don’t think there is need for a Garmin to see where this is going…though a Nat-tracker would be nice.

Bo goes to see Hope.  She is puzzled.  He apologizes for accusing her of betraying her word to Carly.  Bo should have trusted her.  Hope accepts, and says she never should have baited a great old white like Victor.   Hope admits she questioned Victor because she is jealous of Carly.  She was a huge part of Bo’s life when he thought all Hope was lost.  Carly was her replacement back then and wonders if history is repeating.  Well, you never know with daytime budgets, first Deidre Hall and then…

Source: NBC's Days of Our Lives

Hope becomes more akin to Charity as she tries to give it away to Bo.  She wants to move back home.  Bo wants to know what brought THIS on.  Is it because she loves him or does she want to keep an eye on Carly?  Both.  Bo questions Hope’s trust in him, and to their family.  Hope says it’s Carly that she doesn’t trust.  Apparently Carly hasn’t given her that convincing Hippocratic oath speech yet.

Source: NBC's Days of Our Lives

Justin tells Carly that her extradition proceedings are continuing and he is doing all he can to keep her from being sent back to the Land of Lawrence.  She can’t leave Salem yet, but she won’t tell Justin why.  Justin is not happy with Carly’s secrecy and leaves to check on the status of his briefs.  Wait, Carly runs to the computer, you can check the V Store online.  Justin is already gone.  While Carly is at the laptop, she completes a drive-by re-tweeting and audibly walks us through a Salem Google search.  She writes something down and rushes out to find a blond street teen sittin’ by the dock of the bay, wasting time.

Source: NBC's Days of Our Lives

The kid wants to know if they have met.  Carly says no, but she thinks they might have a lot in common…like multiple alleles?  Ignoring all those “don’t talk to strangers” after-school specials (wait, those have been replaced by game shows) the girl asks what they could possibly have in common.  Fitting the demographic, what looks to be a twelve year old boy walks up and calls the girl a lying whore.  Whoa, that’s heavy.  He is holding DNA evidence that proves the child the girl gave up for adoption and tried to pass off as his, is not.  Carly intervenes on Mia’s behalf and holds the upset stranger like a…mother?  Jellybean, that boy had no right to talk to you like that.  She is comforted in the fact mothers have to make sacrifices for their kids sometimes.  Carly asks about the girl’s mother, she around?  Perhaps closer than you think…

The beginning of the week can be quickly summed up like this:  Bo to Carly, “You stay in my room.  Carly: “No, I can’t.”  Then: Yes, you can.  No, I can’t.  Yes, you can.  Fine.  Carly to Bo:  “I have to tell Justin”  Bo: “No, you don’t”  Then:  Yes, I do.  No, you don’t.  Yes, I do.  Fine.  Bo leaves to tell Justin, and Carly adjusts Bo’s bed to her own personal sleep number.

While Bo is convincing Justin to help Carly in matters of faux Middle Eastern extradition, the lady of Brady returns to the house.  She is talking to herself about a photo album.  Nice to know the writers share these schizophrenic soliloquies with characters other than Carly.  Before she leaves she decides to look in on her sleeping beau.  Instead, Hope unbearably discovers someone’s been sleeping in her bed.  She finds a formerly fair-haired girl moaning her husband’s name, and by the look on her face, it’s just right.  Hope turns on the light…and there she is!

Got to love it that Carly asks Hope what SHE is doing here.  Hope says this is HER house.  Carly, deducing the obvious, says she knows that.  Carly introduces herself and says this is not what it seems.  Carly tells Hope she is in trouble and Bo is the only person she can turn to.  Hope wants to know why all the secrecy.  Carly explains it was at her request that Bo not say anything.  She murdered Lawrence Alamain (thank god no flashback) and now his men want to avenge that death.  Overkill of this scene puts Hope in danger of a first degree offense herself.

With Carly in the house, Hope is worried for her family’s safety.  Carly says she was under the impression Hope had moved out.  Hope returns Carly’s green-eyed gaze with a monstrous one of her own.  She gets it now.  She moves out; Carly moves in…into her house, into her bed.  Hope is feeling about as out of fashion as a summer white pantsuit after Labor Day.  Hope threatens to have Carly arrested.  She is escorting Carly out of the house when Bo and Justin arrive.  Hope wants to know how Bo could bring that fugitive into their house.  “THEIR house?”  He recalls Hope secretly moving herself and their daughter out to live with a criminal.  Hope says she moved out to give them space to find their way back to each other. Suddenly it becomes all about Hope and her insecurities.  Don’t do as I do, do as I say…something similar to the new state motto of Maine.

Carly explains to Justin why she had to kill Alamain. (thank god no flashback).  She admits that she had to run to keep herself alive.  Hope interrupts and says there is more to Carly’s story.  Hope gives Carly 24 hours to come clean, or it’s her job to turn her in.  Right…Hope, the detective and former bounty hunter, though I can’t envision this character with handcuffs of any kind.  She walked past Carly’s coat without noticing it how many times?  She must have attended the Springfield police academy.

Aunt Vivian is awakened by her manservant with the atrocious accent.  His name is Gus.  Really?  Are they punishing displaced, but loyal, GL fans for some reason?  First Rafe, now Gus, next is Frank, people.  The daytime Norma Desmond threatens to strangle him if this disturbance from slumber is not about Carly Manning.  If she does kill him, we all know who will get his heart.  He informs Vivian they may have located Dr. Manning’s position and will confirm the information shortly.  Viv is disturbed that she doesn’t have specifics.  She wants to know what the hell is shortly…is that next week, next month, next year?  Funny, that is the same way I feel about the pace of this storyline.

Gus returns with the same bad accent and the whereabouts of Carly Manning.  Viv wants to know the location of that murdering guttersnipe.  That’s a great word.  Louise Sorel MUST have brought it with her.  Carly is in Salem.  She is so predictable.  And THAT one is so easy, I will let it go by.  Aunt Vivian sets out to meticulously put together a fool-proof plan, which she says is better than the execution of the plan, because of the anticipation…just like the song.  Viv, focus, you are channeling the wrong Carly.  She pulls it together and begins to think of ways to allow the muse of vengeance to construct the plan that will crush that bitch.  I think I am in love with this character; she had me at guttersnipe.

Hope is sitting in a sulk with Victor.  He asks if Bo threatened her.  Dear lord, now Hope has a flashback…to Carly in bed.  Interesting.  Ok, can we dispense with the flashbacks in return for content with purpose and progression?  Hope admits to Victor that she expected Bo to be missing her more.  But that’s not Bo, he moves on from relationships with no Hope…twice.

Ok, while we are at a lull, where did Carly get the change of clothes?  There is no way, she got those goddess-given contours into the contents of the Brady closet.  Just an observation.  Carly is pacing the floor with anxiety.   She fears that Hope will rat her out,  but Bo reassures Carly she can trust Hope.  Bo gets Carly to sleep.  He covers her with the blanket and goes upstairs.  Carly begins to flash-forward to Lawrence with a dagger in his hand and revenge in his eyes.  Bo runs to protect her and Larry stabs him.  Carly covers the wounds and begins to scream.  Bo awakens Carly from her murderous nightmare.  She stares at her hands.  Out, damned spot.  Carly is now adamant about leaving to protect Bo.  She runs to the door and opens it to Mulder and Scully. They are acting on an anonymous tip that the truth is out there.

Carly Manning, you are under arrest for the murder of Lawrence Alamain…anything you say (even that stuff you say to yourself) can be used against you…

Carly arrives at the Kiriakis mansion and has a bad 1990’s flashback of an old guy who reminds me of a Friend’s dad. Carly then carries on another conversation with herself and ding dong ditches the domestic.  I’m not quite sure what we learned in this scene other than you really CAN re-use the tricks of a juvenile past, and shoulder pads were a really BAD idea.

Coursing toward Bo by dead reckoning, Carly cuts through the cemetery.  Staring at a tombstone, she has another unhealthy video vision from her underground past and relapses into coffin.  She continues…whistling past the graveyard.

Like any good houseguest, Carly breaks the window and somehow gets her arm three feet down the door to disengage the lock.  Bo throws Carly to the floor and falls on top of her.  No, this is NOT a flashback.  Bo asks what Carly is doing here.  Carly asks Bo to get off of her.  Yep, not a flashback.  Bo wants to know why Carly returned to Salem looking like Agent 99.  Ok, as a viewer, I have to ask the same question about Salem every time I tune in, but the Agent 99 part?   Ppfft…get smart.

Carly tells Bo that she is worried for her immediate well being, so he hands her a light beer.  She explains to Bo about knifing Alamain in self-defense.  As a result, those loyal to him would do anything to avenge his loss.  Kind of like those people who would actually purchase Sarah Palin’s book.

Carly tells Bo that Lawrence got sick a month after they got married.  He recovered, but the Lawrence that came back from the brink of death was not the same man.  He was crazy hair Larry and he did evil things.  Carly had to stop him.  And here it comes…Flashback Carly with the kung fu grip.  On sale this holiday season, Flashback Carly comes with bad ninja suit, retractable knife, Salem cruiser, and gay sidekick.  (all sold separately and available on the Venice website)

Bo agrees to help Carly, but she has to assent to stay at his house so he can protect her.  Great, another harbor.  Carly is shaking with trepidation.  Bo wraps a blanket around her and then remembers wrapping the same blanket around his absent wife.  Yes, more proof there is no hope.

There is a knock at the door.  Carly runs to hide while Bo gets rid of Maggie Horton.  Maggie is looking for Bo’s wife.  He says she is not there, but Maggie says she saw her through the window…which is now magically repaired.  Bo covers with the flimsy “friend visiting from out of town” story.  Maggie leaves and stares at the lady’s coat near the door.  Carly uses the Maggie visit to convince Bo she needs to leave.  On cue, someone else drives up.

Maggie tweeted Bo’s lame story to Hope.  Real time information travels fast when not over capacity.  Hope enters with a lame story of her own about a Halloween activity book.  She inquires of the house guest.  Bo says she is gone.  Hope sees her crumpled security blanket on the couch and assumes the visitor was wrapped in it.  She throws the blanket in Bo’s face and storms out.  Guess her sixth sense about the blanket fails her as she passes, without acknowledgment, Carly’s coat.  Perhaps it had cloaked itself.  Bo leaves the room and Carly sneaks out.  After more than a decade and a half, Bo should not only drink diet beer, he should also supplement with ginkgo biloba.  When you tell Carly one thing, she does the other.

Meanwhile, back at the boat, Omar is bathing Lost Boy again.  Didn’t Dr. Manning say he was out of the woods?   Carly walks in to find Bo waiting for her instead of her patient.  Reticent Rafe escaped from Omar and his loofa.  Carly tells Bo about the floater they fished out of the river on the way to Salem.

Bo tells Carly they have to leave.  Carly says her goodbyes to the low budget Ben Kingsley.  She thanks him for all his help.  Carly returns to Salem with Bo.  More flashbacks to 20th century Carly and modern day killer Carly.  Same old stuff, so I FF’d.  Carly has a meltdown.  Sad really.  Otalia fans waited endlessly for this continuous string of “oh, oh, OH!” but to no avail.    Bo better share that biloba.

Canned Middle Eastern music plays in the background.  Days must have purchased it from the Guiding Light yard sale.  An unseen woman is carrying Crazy Larry’s ashes around, a carbon credit he ultimately earned.  She is looking at screen caps of killer Carly’s flashbacks.  The mystery woman begins to surgically remove Carly from the photographs.  She rings the henchman’s bell and tells him to find the woman in the picture…and then she will make her pay.  Pan back to reveal our favorite gravedigger, crazy Aunt Vivian, and the emu on her head.