A few days ago, I had the distinct privilege of sitting down and chatting with the incomparable Tina Sloan, daytime drama legend…and now author.  Tina has chronicled her life as an actress, mother, and daughter in a wonderfully charming, humorous, and poignant memoir entitled Changing Shoes.

Changing Shoes is a primer of sorts for growing old gracefully and meeting aging head on.  Tina utilizes footwear as a metaphor for the different stages of life; when you are ready for a change, it’s simple, just change your shoes.  From the innocence of pink Capezios to the sophistication silhouette of a pair of black Chanel pumps, Changing Shoes takes us on a sentimental journey of youth, career, motherhood, and the decline of aging…our own and our parents.

So, enjoy the conversation with two women who really love shoes…and the changing stories beneath the sole.

Tina Sloan on Twitter

Changing Shoes, the one-woman show, ticket info

Tina Sloan on Season 2 of Venice, the Series

Tina Sloan on Empire

Thanks to Jeryl for our Schmootzcast intro music “Stay Away From You” from her Radio Friendly CD . Check out all of Jeryl’s music on her MySpace page.

And then it came to me…(with a little encouragement from a Twitter follower), the 1950′s Lucy and Desi beds…complete with their own set of handcuffs, and once again, not the good kind.

I love Otalia…

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Soap Opera Network is reporting that ABC will carry the Daytime Emmys next year as the House of Mouse discovered the CW garnered a 2.4 rating (3 million viewers) last night, the networks highest ratings share in months.  I smell a rat.  I surmise Mighty Mouse is not out to save the day, but merely muscling in on the green cheese.

Adding to my confusion of last night’s programming, was a bizarre segment that I can only refer to as Project Skankway.  Introduced by CW’s Tyra Banks, soap stars such as Susan Lucci were drafted to slink and slime their way across the stage to the reverberating rewind of a fashion photog’s camera in order to showcase the fashion forward sense of daytime TV.  Really?  Are they watching the same soaps I am?  Seems quite a dichotomy between thought and action considering the celebrity green room was sponsored by K-mart.

Speaking of dichotomy, whose idea was it to run a beautifully emotional segment on Feed the Children on the high heels of that fashion abomination?  The subject matter, the heroic people involved, and the children deserved better.

Betty White introduced the Guiding Light tribute segment in a way only Betty White can, with humor and with grace.  Seventy-two years of broadcast and over 16,000 episodes is a benchmark never to be matched.  Fans of the show have voiced their displeasure at having the segment come to an abrupt end before deserving recognition was attributed.  To me the ending was synonymous to the cancelation.  There was a quick fade to black and a brusque musical silence as if the fat lady was choked off just as she was warming up to sing.

I went to bed wondering…which one of these soaps will be cut off next year.

I have been thinking about the last month of the OTALIA storyline and Jessica Leccia’s welcomed return next week. Maybe it’s the thin air or perhaps one of my rare moments of cynic-less personal clarity, but I have been pondering that through no fault of her own, Jessica has at times become an afterthought…a sidekick of sorts, relegated to the background behind the shiny, attention-getting lead.  But when you think about it, what would Lucy be without Ethel, Diana Ross without the supreme Mary Wilson, and yes, John Adams without Abigail? A soliloquy.

Anyone watching Guiding Light over the past month can attest that without Leccia in her role as Natalia, the storyline became frustratingly disjointed.  As I asked before in referring to her maternity leave, how do you solve a problem like Leccia?  You don’t.  It’s like craving a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you are out of peanut butter.  A jelly sandwich is ok, but without the foundation, it’s just sweet filler with no substance.

Without Leccia there is No-talia.  Jessica’s portrayal of Olivia’s same-sex better half brings a personality that compliments the diva dynamic and brings out what is paramount in the personified word.

Otalia’s chemistry is more than a simple equation that can be balanced by moving one element or the other, but a sympathetic understanding of the elements that compose the whole.  Without Natalia, it just doesn’t seem to matter, and chemistry without matter is undefined.

I am anxious to see Jessica back to work so that Natalia can finally identify the essential qualities of this relationship.  Having been forcibly infected with a sickly and situational IDK-itis and then impregnated with platitude, it is my desire that time (and maternity leave) is the cure for what ails.

Jessica, I have missed you.  And though Natalia’s blank stares have provided copious fodder for a myriad of recaps, I am anxiously awaiting her new found lucidity. Otalia without Nat just left me with O, as in Oh my god this is painful.  No second fiddle has ever left such a void in the composition.  I welcome your return to Springfield and the complex harmonic motion resulting in your reappearance.

In the interview, Crystal is referring to her character, Olivia’s, near naked replacement romp with ex-husband Josh.  Even the most naive water-carrier saw this one coming.  There has been sexual tension between them for weeks, add that to a sexually denied Olivia, the heartbreak of a runaway love interest who is secretly pregnant with a Frank-furter’s baby, and you have the perfect daytime diva distraction.  Hell, if Gus were to suddenly come back to life after a covert undercover assignment with the CIA, I would call this the consummate long-term soap storyline.  Alas, Guiding Light has an expiration date, and that bulb burns out in about a month.

Can you honestly blame Chappell for wanting to shake her money makers a little bit?  She has been wearing restraints for months, and not the good kind.  Her character has been handcuffed so often, she is actually carrying them in her purse.

If nothing else from this article we can garner that the CBS censors are in full tilt.  I believe my previous suspicions are confirmed as even the body positions of this upcoming no-label-required tryst is interrupted by the powers that be.  While Chappell is permitted to take “the girls” out for a well deserved walk, the Standards and Practices allowance is apparently no top.  A simulated spoon is fine, but you better not fabricate a fork.

I have to ask, why?  The demise date on this thing is so close it’s beginning to smell, and CBS is worried about who’s on top?  Could this be corporate push-back to the audacity of hope?  My cynicism not withstanding, there is still quite a bit of hope out there.  Hope that if Josh can have recess with “the girls”, then perhaps at some point in the next month Natalia can come out and play.

Hey, I get it.  “The girls” are back in town but Natalia is not.  In this scene of the “weak”, it’s Josh who gets the booby prize.  What do you think the chances are when Nat gets back that she will get a little “cheek”?

Probably pretty good if you are thinking more face fondling.  At this point to consider any Otalia affection toward a body part other than the face cheek is just asinine.

Natalia is MIA, but we’re missing Olivia…

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Olivia is losing it..

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Who knew Natalia would run away without telling Olivia where or why? Olivia didn’t.

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This week on Guiding Light…

Olivia longs for the promise of yesterday…

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Will Natalia stay or go?

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See Part 2 tomorrow

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