According to Roman Catholic theology, the term limbo refers to lingering on the edge of hell.  Though an appropriate definition at times, the modern vernacular softens the meaning a little and defines “limbo” as where a person or proposal is held up and nothing can be done until another action happens. Lately, it seems that from my place of employment to my sources of entertainment, limbo is my state of residence, and I don’t want to live here anymore.

Several months ago the board members of my company voted to amend the corporate personnel policy manual to include same-sex partners on the list of eligible recipients of benefits offered to dependents of employees.  A senior board member with veto power added an amendment to include unmarried, heterosexual couples.  He stated that it was unfair to exclude this group, even though these individuals have the choice to get married or apply for benefits through our state’s Common Law Marriage Act which is so lenient the requirements to claim eligibility are as simple as carpooling to work for a week.  Before this amendment was included, estimates showed that out of the 6,000 employees as few as 12 same-sex beneficiaries would in all likelihood be added to the list…perhaps fewer as so many of us wish to remain anonymous in our places of employment.  By adding heterosexual couples to this proposal, there is no way to determine the number of applicants or the incurred costs.  In light of the current economic downturn, the human resources department has been tasked by the board to determine the definition of “family” so as to discern eligible members and relevant costs.  As far as I know, the Supreme Court has yet to determine the legal definition of family, so what makes the board and human resources believe they can?  In addition, the current personnel policies manual defines “dependent” explicitly.  Does this mean only the same-sex family requires an approved definition?  Will the definition of family differ from one group to another?  In the meantime, partners are losing their employment in association with current waves of corporate downsizing, and families are suffering.  Welcome to limbo.

Lately, I have been writing and guest blogging on the Guiding Light storyline pairing of the characters Olivia Spencer, and Natalia Rivera.  From its inception, the producers, writers, and actors have billed this story as having no labels.  It’s just your tired, average, run of the mill, woman falls in love with woman storyline that we see all the time.  Right?  Wrong.  The declaration of such a barren epithet rings as hollow as the naked emperor and his pronouncement of new clothes.  Otherwise, why would an entire realm of viewers, comprised largely of lesbians from around the world, create a 4,000 member social network centered on these two characters?  In a community marginalized by mainstream media, we are hungry for any representation other than sweeps ratings grabs aimed at the titillation of males in the 18 – 35 demographic. Ok, so you hooked me, I am invested.  I made a promise that wherever you take these characters I will follow with my consumer dollars. In exchange I get to see part of myself up on the screen.  I get to follow my struggle portrayed in a mature way that is loving, true, and honest…well, as true and honest as a soap opera can be.  I, as a viewer, have accepted my responsibility in this corporate relationship, and I would like for GL to accept their responsibility as well…and move forward.  I am no novice to the soap world.  I accept and embrace Agnes Nixon’s mantra of “make them laugh, make them cry…and make them wait.”  But in the angst created from the wait, don’t patronize me.  Don’t tell me there is a fine line to walk.  I carry in my heart the ones who walked this line in reality but were not strong enough to come out on the other side unharmed by society’s wrath.  Not only do I want truth and honesty in the storytelling, I want courage…the same courage so many of us don everyday to move forward in our own lives.  Do not bring me to the edge then leave me there to balance as you run back to safety.  GL, do not leave me in limbo.  Move forward and feed the hunger in my community.  I assure you there is no satiety in mere crumbs.