My OTALIA obsessed significant other is all amuck about circulating rumors that Doris will step out from under her fedora and try to convince Olivia to stop the impending nuptials between Natalia and Frank. Apparently, the antagonistic pair of closeted politician and questioning hotel owner have bonded over Ladies Night, headwear fashion, and blackmail. That must have been SOME martini!
As part of our civil union agreement, I have compromisingly agreed to be copied on email correspondence between my prepossessed spouse and other members of the OTALIA brigade. (Read my post, Ode to an OTALIA Widow, and you can catch up.) Upon breaking the news of the “DOLIVIA” conversation, one of our mutual friends in need of a twelve step addiction program proclaimed that Doris is her hero. Doris? Really? Well, I will admit, all notable superheroes DO wear a disguise.
Now, in her fantasies, I would be willing to bet Doris has an unrestricted reality of saving the cheerleader and saving the world, however, I believe my Tar Heel gal pal had a different kind of hero in mind. Doris is the personification of all those verbal bricks of angst hurled by OTALIA fans at TV and computer screens all over the world. Doris brings to life Sister Ann’s closing door analogy and slams it on Liv’s foot. Damn it, wake up and smell the tuna noodle casserole! Stop the wedding, Olivia! It is your duty as a “friend” to run this intervention. Enlighten Natalia of the health hazards tied to a life diet comprised of too much Frank-furter.
Doris doesn’t possess enough courage to live a complete truth in her own life, but today she is donning the honesty cape and becoming a super woman for Olivia. Using her x-ray vision, Doris can see right through Olivia’s desire to do the “right thing” by bandaging over her bleeding, transplanted heart and sacrificing her own happiness to give Nat what she thinks will make her happy. Faster than our ability to forward through other parts of the show, and able to leap martyred BS in a single bound, Doris encourages Olivia to stop the wedding and tell Natalia how she feels. Natalia deserves the right to choose.
Thanks, Doris…now you can go for the cheerleader.