Carly Cap #2: A Slow Boat to Salem


Hot off the press of the Worldly Journal is a 20 year old picture of the murdered Lawrence Alamain and the report of Global Airlines Flight 816 making an emergency landing.   As a felon on the run, Carly’s urgency to get back to the midwest is of utmost importance, so she secures passage on the next…boat?  I’m still not quite sure why Carly couldn’t have just taken another flight from the airport.  Perhaps it was all that mumbling about Bo, and the invariable Mensa member at the service counter thought she said “boat”.  Just when I thought this plot couldn’t get any more plodding, Carly is somewhere west of the Mediterranean on a very SLOW boat to Salem.

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Nautically searching for her guiding light, Carly finds Omar instead.  Omar owes Carly at least five days on a boat for a 10 hour surgery several years ago.  There was something about a life for a life.  She explains to him that she is an international escapee on the sacrificial lamb from murdering her husband, the powerful Alamain.  Omar says, OK, I’m sure you had a good reason.  That 10 hour surgery must have been a lobotomy.

Omar later enters Carly’s room holding a tray, “Coffee?”  I thought this wasn’t supposed to be a gay storyline?  Carly says caffeine makes her jittery.  She is a wanted woman, and Alamain’s reach is far.  Rumor has it Alamain procured Mayor Wolfe’s goons and they are pissed they are now unemployed and without health care benefits.  They won’t rest until they find the knife plunging princess.  Carly wants to make a phone call, but any communication could give away their location.  No Twitter?  Carly needs to get to Bo in record time.  Any chance of a tail wind?

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Carly is looking through papers that she quickly conceals behind the sofa cushions.  She is checking the script to see when this thing will get better.  The monotony is broken by three long blasts of the vessel’s horn…man overboard.  There is a body in the water.  Carly says bring him on board…to hell with her security, she took an oath to save lives.  The Hippocratic oath says to first do no harm…too late, this is killing me.  Carly ponders if she saves this life, would it absolve her of taking another?  (If I continue to watch and recap, will it absolve me of *EDITED FOR CONTENT*)

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Dr. Carly Manning begins CPR 101 on the unidentified drowning victim.  The resuscitation step of the Wikipedia list bears a remarkable resemblance to making out considering no one’s cheeks are puffing with air…and it’s obvious the actor is smiling.  It gives a whole new meaning to rescue breathing.

Carly assures the victim that he is going to be ok, she is a doctor…an out of practice one…but a doctor.  Carly starts to undress the man who they plucked from the frigid waves of the Atlantic.  Is this the part of Olivia that CC said she brought with her?

There is more fumbling attempts at CPR…coughing, coughing…but no lung water brought up.  Must be swine flu.  Carly searches for the floater’s pulse;  it’s thready…damn, he sure is moaning and thrashing around for near dead.  Carly says they have to get him to the hospital.  He is suffering from hypothermia (which I get) and a possible concussion (how do you know).

CPR again on a man who is moaning?  Ok, Carly, this is CPR, not a massage.  The good doctor instructs Omar to find the first aid kit.  Huh?  Dr. Carly MacGyver can hook up a defibrillator with a band-aid, a little waxed dental floss, and that battery powered pleasure piece Blake Marler mailed her.

Now the “dying man” is having a flashback.  A blonde is washing his chest.  He is moaning again, though this time I don’t think it’s from cold.  He is saying,  “Sssssaaa…”.  Carly moves in and asks him his name.  Flashback Barbie says, “Rafe.”   Every fiber of my being says NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Carly begins to hallucinate Alamain.  Oy vey, that man’s do is definitely a Glamor don’t.  He accuses Carly of trying to save a life to atone for the one she took.  Carly tells him he is nothing but a bad memory and inquires of his new residence in hell.  Say hi to all those broadcast network executives.

Carly doesn’t feel guilty for her crime and she has no regrets.  She killed Alamain before he was able to kill someone she loves very much. IDK.  Alamain asks if that is true why did she run away?  And why did she do it so badly?  A boat, Carly, really?  He warns Carly that his people will find her and punish her.  Then he vanishes.

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More flashbacks to the blonde.   Rafe (ewww) starts mumbling again and says Sam.  Carly goes near and asks, “Sam, who is Sam?”  Sam I am? Would you could you on a boat? I would not could not on a boat, on a plane, or on this soap.

Carly is afraid the man will be in further danger if he stays with her on the boat.  She wants Omar to drop them at the next port so he can be in greater danger with her on land.  The purser pulls a gun on Carly.  He tells her the tides have turned.  Damn, wish I had thought of that line.  Punny.  He recognizes her as the fugitive wife.  Alamain’s inner circle has offered the yeoman $100,000 to eliminate Carly.  You just know something is about to happen to this dumb-ass. What idiot accepts dollars instead of euros?

The half-dead human driftwood leaps from his bed and grabs the goon-in-training’s gun giving Carly a window of opportunity to push a well positioned pump into Gopher’s groin.  Carly disarms the henchman, and Rafe passes out from the melodrama.  She reiterates the need to get him to the hospital.  Omar ties up the bad guy and readies the dinghy.

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Rafe regains consciousness and keeps mumbling about a baby…dear lord, here we go again.