Once upon a time, there was a very beautiful queen; hair, black as the raven; eyes, brown as chestnuts; and skin, smooth as cream. She was the fairest of the land, but the unfairest of heart in that her inner self-loathing manifest itself in an evil, Freudian way, and was displaced throughout the queendom onto those who wished to live their own truth and happiness. In a desperate, last ditch effort to ruin the happiness of her closest, female rival, the Not-nice Queen cast a curse on her fairy tale subjects locking them all into a one dimensional, single spot in time, along the New England coastline of the United States. Controlling the small-town populous with a cunning, iron-will and poison produce, Mayor Queen establishes an electorate oblivious to their storied history and the world around them…which is quite the effective cover as the ruse blends in quite well with most American voters.
Few outside the maine-land know that the sinister spell can be broken only by true love’s kiss. (Not true love’s FIRST kiss…everyone knows that abstinence stuff doesn’t work.) As circumstance would have it, a tough-talking stranger, of tank top and handsome features, arrives by cover of night in quest for answers regarding the first child. The Evil Mayor, having stopped the passing of her town’s present time, needed only to adopt a son to silence the sounds of her own biological clock. The origins of the male heir in question, the blonde stranger becomes quite the antagonist to the lovely, but troubled town leader. Threatening to unearth the true identity of the sleepy town and ruin her sinister plan, the evil queen of the town council makes it a personal point to keep a close eye on the comely stranger.
It is a grim fable to believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It is actually the presence of sexual chemistry and constant, unrequited tension that provide the fertile ground for the planting of true love’s kiss. One close-up, emotional encounter too many, the stranger follows the instinct of a wanting heart and pulls the raven-haired beauty into the softest of passionate kisses. The now civil servant bristles no more and lets down her beard of personal doubt. The birds begins to sing, the sun begins to shine, and the dark cloak of the curse is lifted from the people of the town.
The two beautiful women move to Vermont with their son, buy an apple orchard…and live happily ever after.
It could happen. In fact, something similar is happening right now on ABC’s Once Upon a Time. I’m not saying that the Disney network won’t stay true to form in its historic editing of fables and fairy tales to assure a happy ending with a white steed and the opposite sex lip-lock of a handsome prince. What I am saying is wouldn’t it be nice if ABC had the courage of a huntsman to do the unexpected?
From Snow White, to Sleeping Beauty and Little Mermaid, to a myriad of other fairy tales, fables, and folklore, true love’s kiss has become quite trite in its portrayal. This is the 21st Century with evolving attitudes of what constitutes love and family. Yes, ABC’s Once Upon a Time is scoring high with all those Nielsen soccer moms, but there does seem to be some groundbreaking and gallant potential.
I know, know…subtext can be found under a rock if you look hard enough, especially if socially marginalized and searching for some self-reflective form of representation. But what if…just what if…ABC could find its big old Mouse balls and make the bold move that defines true love’s kiss in terms of the heart instead of gender. Maybe it could happen, once upon a time..in my lifetime.
“Always let your conscience be your guide.” – The Blue Fairy
**Swan Queen gif created by: kpfun Thank you.